Balance according to the dictionary is

  • Even distribution of weight that enables someone or something to remain upright and steady
  • A situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions

A balanced lifestyle as a parent is when you have various aspects of your life as a parent in the correct proportions. I.e. work/business, time with the children, time with yourself and time with the spouse for those who have one

Parenting in my own books is demanding and can be challenging.  We’ll have different opinion on this and that is fine.

I will say yes it is possible to have the right work/life balance.  I have been on both sides of the scale of not having a healthy one and now having a healthy one.

The key to having the healthy one is knowing what is important to you as a parent – is it buying them expensive presents and not being available or being present and not so expensive gifts or both – being present and being able to buy all the gifts but not necessarily doing so.

For me, I am a mother, wife, full time job, business owner and pastor’s wife so you can see that I wear many hats and I can assure it is not easy.

A balanced lifestyle as a parent is when you have various aspects of your life as a parent in the correct proportions

My ministry as a person of faith starts at home so before I go to church to start preaching, I have to make sure I practice my preaching at home.

The effect of an unhealthy work life balance on children is that they miss out on positive experiences that create memories in their memory bank for the rest of their lives. This when you hear people say I cannot remember my parents doing anything with me when I was young.

Another thing is children model our behaviour so we are showing them how to behave when they grow. If we are not present as a parent the chances that they will model that behaviour is very high.

I am sure you’ve heard this before: children will never forget that you did not come to the school Xmas play but they won’t remember that you had to go to work to get paid so they can have food on the table.

Both children and parent lose out on creating memories and building relationship.

I am not so sure if there is a particular age when children are affected by the lack of healthy work life balance. I went back to work when my son was 7 months old, he was still in breast milk. It was one of the most difficult moments of my life.

My ministry as a person of faith starts at home so before I go to church to start preaching, I have to make sure I practice my preaching at home.

As parents, we need to ask ourselves what is our priority ?  This will inform what we make our priority and how we play our part as parents.  My late mentor and friend will say at the end of the day, people will look to see how the children have turned out and not how much money did you make?

80/20 rule, Seun what is that?

The rule says 80% of consequences or results stems from 20% of causes. I guess you can apply the rule to parenting in that you write down what your parenting goals and eliminate everything possible that does not contribute to accomplishing your parenting goals.

For example I work around my son so when he comes home from school, I try to switch off my phones, close my laptop so I can be fully present for half hour.

Sure culture has a role to play on having a balance and healthy lifestyle but we need to drop the bits of the culture that did not serve our parents generation and if possible embrace other culture that will empower the balance that we crave.

My 3 top tips for having a balanced life style

  1. Identify what is important to you as a parent
  2. Delegate/outsource and ask for help
  3. Make your self-care a priority

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